Teaching Parents of Teens How to Teach Their Children Chastity

Dear ChastityCall Friends,

This is the first of a two part Chastity presentation which I was asked to give to the parents of young teens. I had been praying about how to get my Chastity workshops messages which I had been teaching our Several Sources unwed mothers for four years across to other young teens and never got an answer. Then one glorious day I was asked to give a series of Workshops to the Parents of young teens about to receive the sacrament of Confirmation. The light bulb went on... that's the answer...all these many years I thought that I was suppose to teach teens and in fact the Lord seems to be guiding me to teach their parents what I had learned. This section of our website is a review of that first workshop. I hope it helps you in your pursuit to teach you children the lost virtue of Chastity.

I have been teaching chastity to my moms every Friday for the last four years...unusually its from 3:30 to 5:30 PM and my dear friend, Barbara, used to say..."How come it took you four years... how could you possibly keep going on and on... year after year about Chastity." Now Barbara has attended a few workshops and she has come to realize that the cornerstone of what I try to teach....is Chastity is a Lifestyle.

Tonight we are going to study Chastity... and next week you are going to bring your children to the class and I hope the Holy Spirit inspires us all how to teach and communicate this concept which is absolutely critical that Chastity is a Lifestyle. What I am going to try to do is to do get each and everyone of you to get into a framework of thinking about cleansing every thought that goes through your child heart and mind so that it will be fully acceptable to the Lord. We have a lot of material to cover tonight. We have six little short video clips. But before I begin ... I would like to introduce you to two of my mothers... we have Emon who is 19 and her baby is due in September. She has only been with us for 10 days and we also have Rachel who has been with us for three months and her 12 day old son, Anthony. Both of these young ladies were delighted to come here tonight.

On the way here tonight one of the things we talked about coming here tonight was the Cowardly Lion... do you remember who the Cowardly Lion was...in the Wizard of Oz? Two of the parents after last week's workshop came up and said, "I'm afraid to talk to my kids about chastity. I am afraid I'll turn my kids off...if I do what you suggest ... I might turn my kids away from me." So in tonight's workshop I ask you to actively participate. I would like to learn from you as you learn from me.

I want to show you my absolutely favorite poster. It was created by my mothers during a Chastity workshop. It is the result of having attended many chastity workshops. The poster starts here... with Jesus on the Cross and the Bible quote, "If I be lifted up from the Earth, I shall draw all men unto Me." John 3:14. So that through His sacrifice of the Cross, we are draw to the Lord. And from the Cross, my dear mothers decided to draw a highway... which divides in two...one section is Chastity Parkway which ultimately leads to Heaven. The other part of the highway is Lust Highway...which ultimately leads to Hell. And if you read through you will find the LIFESTYLE concept... its not all just all dealing with sex....Chastity Parkway includes: honesty, faith, truthfulness, trusting God, praying, peace, worship, knowing God, reading God's word, love, friendship, values, wisdom, spiritual values. So that the young women who live with me come to realize that ALL THIS IS CHASTITY. Leading the lifestyle that is full of holiness...we are all called to be holy...and that is what chastity is about It is not just ..."Oh, I not going to have sex until I get married." Because in a way... that is just abstinence.

And when you convince your kids to abstain ... then they are going to think... "Oh great, I can't smoke... I can't drive.. and now they are going to try to get me to not participate in things that are going to excite me." Instead what we are going to try to do is to get them to realize that by leading a Holy Life, a pure life that they are going to be more excited about life because the Holy Spirit is going to help them to see the world in a different way...a more exciting and truly meaningful way.

So that's the theory... the dogma behind our workshop. As we go through it we are going to give you some very exciting exercises. Now this part of the poster is very interesting. Its called the Highway to Hell and it includes: complaining and selfishness, prejudice, bitterness, adultery, anger, lies, no mercy, conceit, hate, betrayal, greed, sex, abortion, drugs, murder, suicide, swearing, jealously and holding grudges. There is probably a one and a half to one ratio of things that get you to Hell verses things that get you to Heaven. These ideas came out of the mothers heads after attending the Chastity Workshops... that process is an educational process... that is very exciting. In the last four years the most exciting times of my week are when I teach the mothers Chastity.. because I learn so much as I try to teach the mothers the value of a chastity lifestyle.

Now I am going to show you a video....from a morning show on ABC.....

Dr. Reem......"The parents want to build self esteem, but they misunderstood the way to build self esteem....instead of parents guiding them...the kids lead the parents." And that clearly seems to be the case with the Kates... one morning Kevin wines about drinking his milk. Instead of insisting, Jeff pleads with him. Kevin says that he will only do it if he sits on his father's shoulders. And guess who gets his way?

The Kates agreed to let Dr. Reem take a look at their family confusion. "There is absolutely no reason for the dad to put this child on his shoulders. But what this dad does constantly, is , he says "NO" but then they get what they want anyway. No does not mean No ... No means how far should I push."

So how is it that we adults fall into this trap of giving children so much power? Well, according to the experts, one reason is that so many parents are simply worn out from juggling the conflicting demands of work and family. It just easier to give in then to say NO. For others , like Jeff, its a way to rebel against the strict childhood that they had. "My parents were very strict, so maybe became a little too lax."

What's the harm of over indulging your child? The harm is that they don't appreciate it... and they keep expecting more and more. And they don't feel happy in the long run. Because at some point the world is going to say no to them.

So how do you avoid giving your children too much power? Most experts agree, you begin before your kids can walk. "If you start 6 months on teaching the child to respect others people's needs in the family, teaching them that there are limits beyond which you won't let them go... its so much easier then when they are older." says Psychologist Burton White. He has spent nearly 40 years observing childhood behavior and helping families prevent future problems.

So what do you do if you are like the Kates and things have already gone way out of control. They tried listing rules for the kids to follow, but number 13 ... going to sleep on time is a joke. "Daddy, come here." This is a typically night with Andrea. She will stall as long as possible before going to sleep...."Daddy, I want you to stay with me." Dr. Reem offered to help the Kates to get the power back from the children.

This is not a formal therapy session but she offered to give the Kates some advise. First , don't sabotage each others authority. Earlier Andrea wanted soda for breakfast...Jeff should have backed up his wife who said NO. Secondly limit choices and make it clear that a routine chore like brushing your teeth is not an option. And she says be just as firm at bedtime. The children have to know that when the lights are out, they stay out. Think about... if you can do it with a close door now, that may be hard on both of you, but if you don't do it with a closed door now, no door will hold them in when they are 12 and 13 years old.

We visited the Kates about six weeks later and already there is a difference. "Can I please be excused from the Table?" Its hard to believe these are the same kids now. But the real change is in the parents. They are now much firmer about enforcing household rules. The kids now help clear the dinner dishes without a struggle.

So who runs the house now. "We are now adults in the household and they know that they have to respect us." And even the dreaded bedtime is now no longer the struggle that once it was.

"Do you think they actually like having limits?" "Oh yes, I think they needed it. So now that we set some its much easier for them to understand and continue with them." And there is even an added benefit to gaining control. Dee and Jeff say they now have time for each other. "They are both asleep by 8:30pm...and ... like we can hang out together and I'm like wow ... we can do what we wanted... its like a miracle.

"We as parents, we as teacher, we as adults... in our young people's lives, have got to take leadership when it comes to the virtue of Chastity. And part of what I'm trying to do...as I work with my mothers...over the last few years ... is inspire you...through what I have done with them. So that you will see it is not anywhere as difficult as you might think it is. So on that happy note I am going to ask my moms to share with you what they think after attending workshops.

"I didn't think it was going to be like it was. It was beautiful and I learned a lot." said Emon. Do you remember any one thing you learned? "I remember, "Don't cast your pearls among swine." And what does that means ... "It could mean something precious to you." And that was something that Jesus said, and please understand that Emon is a Muslim and our lesson had great meaning to her. And now I would like to introduce Rachael ... who has been to about 12 workshops ... she is 15 .. she was president of her sophomore class... a cheerleader... and then found out she was pregnant and decided to come to our shelter to have her baby, little Anthony.

Rachael what did you think of the workshops? "Okay...I think they are really interesting. In my family it was...OK ... it was just school... you do good in school...and we will give you whatever you want... never anything about sex...it was just "You don't do that." But going to the workshops, OK... it is Ok to talk about these things... its nothing bad... it helps.. prevent it actually...I mean I wish my parents had talked to me about these things... before ... well I got pregnant. I wish I had waited a couple of years and I was done with school and all."

"I mean... I was nervous.. at first ... I mean.. who is this lady... telling me not to have sex anymore...I mean "Don't have sex before you get married." I mean ... I am already pregnant...she talks to us like adults..on our level...its your choice...but you know what can happen if you don't remain chaste. She doesn't say, "I am an adult and you have to do what I say."

I would like to read the poem to you that I wrote in school:

Chastity... the key to Heaven's Gate
Chastity, if he really loves you, he'll wait.
It's all about the truth, love and understanding.
If he really respected you, he wouldn't be so demanding.
Don't be fooled by Satan's schemes.
A lot of things can happen. Know know what I mean?
Don't give in to every word he says.
'Cause you'll be miserable for the rest of your days.
Trust the Lord and never loose your faith.
Just wait for the time He sends your mate.
But if you think you've found him, and you think it's true,
The only way to tell, is if he waits for you...
So if he has any plans to leave and walk out the door,
Let him go, always remember, you're worth waiting for.

Actually I wrote this March 3rd and then Tuesday I had a sonogram and the next day I had the baby.

Rachel, I couldn't ask for a better talk. An thank you that was just wonderful. Can each one of you sense the presence of the Holy Spirit in this room right now? The greatest gift I can give you this evening is the presence of these two young women who are trying to share with you their stories.. their lives ... their choices... and their futures. They are living examples and they share with you their feelings..."I wish I had waited," said Rachel. Hopefully they will come back with me next week and they will share with your children what they have learned.

The one thing that Rachel did not tell you about is her Chastity Ring...Rachel tell them about your Chastity Ring. "This is a ring that Kathy gives to all of her mothers. To me its like a symbol. Yes, I went to the Chastity Workshops. And I'm going to try. Its not a vow. But If I do have sex again before I get married, I must take this ring off. This rings symbolizes a rebirth for me. I have changed. I will try." explained Rachel.

That's the cornerstone... a three letter word... TRY... I don't know anyone who has never made a mistake...do you? And maybe there are some people who never have to worry about Chastity... but they have others things to worry about ...they have to worry about greed or meanness of spirit... that is the LIFESTYLE question... you see... that how if you approach this issue as a lifestyle question...its something that deals with the whole psyche...its a mosaic ....If you approach this question as a lifestyle question ... you will absorb your children...its not just something that deals with below the belt. Chastity is a way of looking at your entire life.

Next Video! Did anybody here ...hear about the marijuana use and the sixth graders? I have a little clip about this from the news. It only lasts a minute or two but it definitely is worth listening to.

These sixth graders say parents are a big part of the problem. "No it doesn't surprise me because I see a lot of adults .. I mean parents ...and they smoke and they don't tell their kids its wrong," commented one student.

Where do you think do you think these children are getting these drugs?

"Some are getting them from their friends ... and a lot I think...are getting them from their parents," replied a sixth grade girl. These students agreed to talk about drug use as long as we agreed to not ask them if they had ever tried marijuana. If there is one thing they share with their parents, it is that age old "peer pressure." In this case its to smoke a joint.

"Its considered cool to like use Marijuana...it helps your image among the other students" said one sixth grade boy.

"I think everyone is doing everything earlier," New York hospital psychiatrist, Dr. Robert Millman commented. He deals with teen drug abuse everyday. "We're seeing a broad wave of increased drug use. It probably has to do with the perception that drugs are less dangerous."

But how can that be .... from "just say no" to a blitz of public service television spots, children are being pounded with warnings that drugs are dangerous. But these sixth graders say that they are getting mixed messages from the adult world. (Scene: kids smoking marijuana) ... But whatever the cause, scenes like these outside a California classroom should not surprise anyone. .... As long as kids think that adults can't get their stories straight.

Mixed Messages...Mixed Messages.....

If we come home from a long, hard day at the office and we tell with our spouse about the fact that the boss is sleeping with so and we start laughing about it because we suspected it all the time. And we have a good old time gossiping about this encounter...it is a mixed message.

You have got to watch what you say...watch what you think ... watch what you feel...or it could be a mixed message. When the students said they got it from their parents, I almost dropped my teeth. How could a parent give a child marijuana? I don't think the parents really handed it to the kids. I think the kids probably pulled it out of a drawer or something. And the parents didn't know it. I'm going to hope and pray that's the case. But we have to be careful when we bring in an "R" rated movie. ... or a movie that is inappropriate for the household. And we have to be careful where we go and what we do and what we say.

Has anybody in this room ever ordered a pizza and not had every kid in the house know exactly when it was going to be delivered even if they were upstairs in their bedroom. You could whisper it..."Hon, I think we are going to have pizza tonight." and they shoot out of their bedrooms and say, "Pizza...I'm ready I want ......." So if they can figure that out when you don't think they are listening...and you have something going on in your head or your heart or your mind... and there is a sexual innuendo to it...don't think the kid isn't going to pick up on it. So Chastity has to begin with you. And that's tough ... because you think well...I'm married...I'm an adult. But you have to understand that you don't want to give your kids a mixed message.

You have to re-analyze the words that you use. I say to my girls ....no swearing...Because Jesus said not by heaven or by Hell should you swear." let your yes be yes and your no be no." So they are not going to hear out of me, "Hell or Damn or S H I T." And I asked my staff, please "No Swearing." Because I can't these young women not to swear and them permit my staff to do so. That's part of Lifestyle...that does not mean you are not going to make a mistake. You are going to make a mistake... in some ways its OK when you do, because you can then say, "Sorry I did not mean to say that, but I did and I am going to try harder not to swear again."

Just as with Rachael ... I hope to God that she remains chaste until she is married. But if she meets someone and she says, "Oh I can't wait any longer. I'm going to stop my praying and I'm going to do what I want to." Well, then take the Chastity Ring off...put it in the jewelry box. Don't wear it. Don't be a hypocrite. Take it off. Then when your little heart is broken again. Because it will be. Take it to the bank. Because if you give yourself over again before you are married...chances are you are going to have a broken heart. Then maybe you may want to try chastity again and put the chastity ring back on your finger again. Because chastity is a LIFESTYLE. Its a cleansing lifestyle. Its a security that we are trying to give our children.

This happens to be my favorite poster.

"One Date May Be Too Late."

You have to start now. When your children are 10, 11, 12. Don't think "Oh it is too early." Now you are going to be given a couple of assignments. I want you to go to the video store and rent a movie...a romantic movie with your child. Nothing "X" or "R" rated, please. Something like a romantic comedy or a simple romance. They are around. And when you do select one, come back next week and tell us what you have selected so we can make a syllabus to share.

And then sit and watch that movie. I suggest "A Walk through the Clouds." Its so romantic and it involves Chastity. Then I want you to sit and watch it with your son or your daughter. Tell them you have chastity homework and its to sit and watch the movie together. Use the pause button once in a while....and if you see something you particularly like, use the pause button and say, "I hope when you start dating that you treat a young woman (or a young man) like that man (or woman) is treating the one they love. I think the love that they have for each other is special. And you are special to me and I hope that is the way you are going to treat your future boy friend or girl friend.

And then you are going to continue with the movie. Your child is never going to forget that movie and watching it together and hopefully it will give you something to talk about and think about when you watch other things together on TV.

How many people in this room would say to their children. "Let's decide as a family what car insurance company we are going to use this year?" NOBODY... would do that. And if you did say something like that your child would probably look at you like you really lost it. But if you as the mother or father would say, "I'm going to have my son or daughter to help make a mature, business like decision about what insurance company we are going to use. And we are going to get two or three salesman in here and we are going to talk about liabilities, the age of the car, people getting hurt, and we are going to talk about deductibles and your child is going to you at you... and they can learn...and what kid isn't interested in driving.

I was with a four year old...I went to the circus with him on a bus... a week ago Sunday. At four he was picking out the cars he wanted. "I want that one and that one...and that one." Anthony said. I told him, "Anthony you are only four!" But he knew what car he wanted..."I want that one and that one and that one." he said. He didn't know what he was talking about. But they were cars!

So your son or your daughter would sit there and listen to you as you explained that New Jersey has the most expenses car insurance. And that Allstate offers this and Metropolitan offers that type of insurance. And your child is going to look at you and as the girls said now you are treating them as an equal. And then when you make a decision with your child...even if you don't agree with them...that's the same thing with your little speaker called your mouth.

And this little speaker is where God is going to try to come out and inspire your child and you. Your going to watch the movie with your child and all of a sudden you are going to press that pause button and say something to your child, that even you are going to be impressed with and you are going to say to yourself ...."that sounded pretty good." You are going to be inspired by the Holy Spirit as to what to say, because God wants to help you to have your children live chaste lives.

Now I am going to show you another video clip.

Do you know what you are doing on Valentine's Day?

Psychic shuffling the tarot cards, "I would say there is something nice big surprise coming your way."

"Oh thank you," responses the young woman as she leaves.

"Stacey, up for another one? " says the commentator.

"Sure," says the Psychic.

"I just want to know if I am going to met the person I am looking for this year." comments the second young woman.

"Let's check it out. There's definitely someone coming into your life. But I would watch it being a one night stand. You know that this year looks like a fun flirtation year for year. I see three flirtations for your this year. Three different people you are going to get involved with. One is about four months. And one is about seven months. The one that is about seven is interesting, but I would say that next year...next year is definitely more interesting for you," comments the psychic as she finishes the reading.

And let's do one more... Jennifer... who has a very serious question for you. "I would like to know when I am going to get engage,." asks Jennifer.

Stacey shuffles the Tarot cards.. and asks are you going somewhere with him in the next couple of weeks?

"Yes, tomorrow" says Jennifer.

"Oh great, I'm going to pat myself on the back," says the tarot card reader. "I don't think it is going to happen tomorrow. Its a slight possibility. More likely it will happen in about 5 months. Are you going to have an anneversary in 5 or 7 months. I feel he is going to plan it around an anniversary and invite some people to be around. And it will be a really nice pleasant surprise," explains the tarot card reader.

"Oh thank you!"says the young woman.

Wow... tarot cards... astrology... interfering with their selection of friends! The scriptures explain that these kinds of things are unacceptable to God.

When we started watching the videos remember the list of rules the Kates had for their children and how they said rule number 13 was the most difficult to follow? Which the little girl did not want to go to bed early ... well in preparation for this workshop we had some posters made up for you. These two posters summarize the Old testament and the New Testament in two posters. Basically what these posters do is summarizing of the rules. It shows the making of the rules and the breaking of the rules. Its the story of Salvation.

Part of any successful Chastity Program the cornerstone must be the parents respect for the laws of God. Its not just what is coming out of your head. You did not just think of this one Tuesday night with your spouse to make your children's lives miserable. No. This is something that has been ingrained in our culture for generations and generations.

That's why Emon can even in her Muslim Faith can so easily relate to what we are trying to teach in the chastity workshops. Because her relation has the same cornerstone of love, values and closeness to God and His laws. This is absolutely critical if you are going to make headway with your children when it comes to chastity.

In other words I'm going to repeat it... not your laws but God's laws. Not your ideals but this is what He God wants us to do as His children. And that's something your child is going to think about. Its not just what mom or dad wants. This is not just mom's way of making me miserable. But if I do believe in God and I believe in His laws, then maybe He did set down in writing some things about how I'm suppose to behave when it comes to sex.

I took the time in another workshop to find anything that refers to sex or lust in the Bible and my findings are quoted to you on this little piece of paper. Maybe it would be nice of you to study and quote it once in a while. Maybe it would be nice to tape it up inside your cupboards. Take two and tape up both sides.. as gentle reminders for your children on God's words about chastity.

One of the things that I giving you for this workshop is a Poster ...entitled "Pray About it" which features two young people praying together. I tried to find such a poster and could not .... so we at Several Sources decided to create it for you.

Its very difficult for you and I to teach Chastity in this generation because there are so few tools that we can use to help us. WE need support from each other. We need workshops like this ... we need need building blocks of changing the value system in our culture to one that says CHASTITY IS A LIFESTYLE. Save that beautiful gift that God has given your children.

If you have the courage read the Song of Solomon with your children. Their is no more sensual book ... God created us male and female. He knows what physical love is all about. You have to gently move into these topics with your children. When you see something appropriate with your children....or even inappropriate...either way you are a winner, because you have something to talk about with you children. Use this discussion to open up a conversation about chastity and your beliefs.

And now I have another video clip to show you. I had to follow the Tarot Cards with something wholesome. And I think you will truly enjoy Sr. Wendy.

I think she is the highlight of my video clips. Here goes:

"But take her frail hand and she is likely to lead you into her other world, where you are liking to be enlightened and shocked."

Sr. Wendy: "Andy Warhol....great artist .... or common artist?"

Sr. Wendy Becket, a nun who doesn't fly is a TV Star.

Sr. Wendy: "I so wish he had known Princess Di, but he did the best he could with Marilyn Monroe."

Her series on art a huge hit here in England, is to be showcased in the US on PBS. After Mother Theresa, Sr. Wendy may be the best known nun on the planet. For a religious women who has never as much as watched TV before, let alone performed on it, she is a natural. Only she is unimpressed.

Sr. Wendy, "Oh I feel I look so silly."

Commentator, "Silly, how?"

"Well, have got I've got quite an unfortunate face which is not naturally well equipped to deal with such subjects."

Perhaps its Sr. Wendy's apparent contradictions that her audience finds so irresistible. She not only loves art. She loves it ... well...how shall I say...its more sensual aspects.

"What you are faced with ... as you enter this room... is the glorious behind of Venus with her little son Cupid right there." she says.

Commentator: "When you mean behind.... you mean BEHIND."

"Yes... her glorious back... and her buttock" says Sr. Wendy.

If the British were stunned by Sr. Wendy's love of the human form ... how will Americans react?

"It seems so much in contrast to the other side of your life...your religious life." states the commentator.

"Well the fact that sexuality does not enter my life privately does not mean that I am not delighted that God has given it to people. And the elephant who died to make that did not die in vain." says Sr. Wendy.

Scene a restaurant: The waiter says to Sr. Wendy as kisses her hand, "I enjoy your program." She responds graciously, "Thank You."

Sr. Wendy has been reluctantly into the celebrity world of fawning waiters and doing lunch. Normally she lives on her own in silence in a little trailer in the woods and her prayers. This she calls her real world.

This life out her with the rest of us she calls her shadow world. Will Sr. Wendy be spoiled by her new found international fame?

Not likely.

"Its so trivial. Its not my day job. My day job is to be a nun and pray. This is just a little thing on the side." says Sr. Wendy.

The Commentator: "But if you are worried success might spoil Sr. Wendy...just listen to the way she mocks the language of the shadow Television world she has visited and conquered:"

"Superb! Magnificent! Never in the annals of television history ...etc...etc...I know its not true ... but it is nice to hear!"

Isn't she adorable. And look at how gracefully she spoke about sensuality. I think that 's an inspiration. It's not that we are turning these kids off to anything to do about sex. No, we talk about sex .... we do in our Workshops all the time. But there is a place for it and a time for it and there is a manner for it. Something's we can talk about in public. Some things we should talk about in private.

If you start when your children are young talking about sexuality and relationship questions, they are going to open up with you and you are going to become their friend and counselor when it comes to relationship questions.

Next we are going to watch some video about bears... from PBS...I think if you listen to the script you might we where we can learn from the animal kingdom.

"This recently orphaned yearling has but a slim chance to survive. More than 40% of young grisslings died from predation, hunting, starvation and accidents.

Cubs are usually weaned when they are about five months old. But they continue to need their mother for a year or two for survival skills. From play fighting these cubs will learn how to protect themselves when they are cast out on their own. Play fighting continues through adulthood as a social ritual. It differs from out right battle only in its intensity. Without a mother's guidance too much is left to chance. Life is too complex ...to perilous for them to survive solely by trail and error.

Cubs are fast learners and their mothers instruct them on many subjects...where to fish...how to defend themselves....and how to kill.

NEXT FILM CLIP

At the height of Spring the valleys on Kodiac are a lush and wild paradise. With the mating Season winding down a female watches two young males vie for her favor. She is NOT IMPRESSED. IF the contest were in earnest between two young males of equal size, it could end in Death! Despite all the posturing the sexual saure frizzles out with out having changed this females mind in the slightest.

But the two males don't know when to quit. Sniffling where she lays...instead of leaving. Their clumsy fighting and small size convince her that neither would make a good mate. SO SHE SQUATS! AND KEEPS SQUATTING! They try their best to woo her, but she still squats.

The Sow foils all advances just by siting down. But the suitor still goes through the motions in pantomime, and practicing perhaps for another mating season.

We can learn for the animals. "And she squats!" Yes, she sits! I should show this video to my girls. But we can learn a lot from the animals, You can watch PBS with your children. Many animals mate for life. What would be wrong with using some animal's behavior as an opportunity to open up a conversation and to teach your children values when it comes to dating and selecting a human mate for life? God created the animals. The animals use their instincts. They do not have a soul as we do, but yet we may be able to use some of their instincts to teach our children valuable lessons.

The "sow" ... the young, lady bear...had enough common sense to somehow understand, "Those two guys are not worth my time and energy." Why can't a young woman be as selective? You could use this lesson if you have a daughter, and say "Just because a guy shows a little interest in you....doesn't mean that you should give away your heart. Let's evaluate our relationships."

And the younger that they are, before they start dating, the more they are going to want to listen, because you are going to tell them things that will be their survival skills. Remember when we watched the first video... the narrator said, that the little cubs were weaned after five months...but the mother had to continue to teach them until the cubs were one and a half years old...or they would not be able to survive in the wild. See my "pea brain" says, "Sounds like the Chastity Workshops to me." Yes, they are adults in a way...they no longer need us to spoon feed them...but they still need our guidance and direction."

The next Video Sequence has to do with Hell and the Blessed Virgin Mary's Appearance to the three children in Fatima in Portugal. Do you remember that Our Lady showed the children a vision of Hell? And that Mary told the children of Fatima the number reason people are sent to Hell by God was because of "sins of the flesh." In modern terms, if Our Lady were to take a survey and find out from cell to cell in Hell what the reasons where that the individuals were sent there...the number one reason would have to do with "Sins of the Flesh." Now I have a little video from an old Fatima movie and a voice over from someone of a religious order... which you may learn from:

Blessed Virgin to the children of Fatima: "Do not be afraid. I will not harm you.

Lucia: "Where are you from?"

Blessed Virgin: "I am from Heaven."

Our Lady raised her hand and pointed to the sky.

Lucia: "And what do you wish of me?"

Blessed Virgin: "I have come to ask that you come here for 6 months in succession on the 13th of each month. at the same hour...later I will tell you who I am and what I want. Afterward I will return here a seventh time."

Lucia: "And will I go to Heaven Too?"

Blessed Virgin: "Yes"

Lucia: "and Jucinta?"

Blessed Virgin: "Yes"

Lucia: "And Francisco?"

Blessed Virgin: "Yes...but he must say many rosaries."

Then the Blessed Virgin asked the children if they wanted to offer to God all the sufferings that He would send them in repentance for the sins of mankind."

Lucia: "Yes, we want it."

Blessed Virgin: "Then you will have to suffer very much. But the God of Mercy will make you very strong."

Lucia: "It was after this that the Blessed Virgin for the very first time opened her hands and they emitted an intense light which penetrated our breasts, which in the inner most part of our souls making us see ourselves in God, more clearly than we can see ourselves in the best of mirrors. Then by a deep inspiration we knelt down and inwardly repeated from the Angel."

This was the first apparition on May 13th 1917 which the children at first wanted to keep secret, but the seven year old, Jacinta, told her family about this meeting. And so it became known to the people of the hamlet and so at the second apparition of the Blessed Virgin there were already several dozen people. During the third apparition several thousand people. During the last apparition there were seventy thousand people.

During six months before the end of the memorable year of 1917, the Blessed Virgin gradually revealed to the children what she wanted to explain to all the people of this century to learn. The Blessed Virgin Mary revealed to Lucia that she would soon Jacinta and Francisco to Heaven. Soon after they died...one after the other. Lucia was to remain on to remind the people of the Blessed Virgin and help the people to love her. This was the will of Jesus Christ who wanted to establish in the world a respect to her Most Immaculate Heart.

Mary Most Holy called on the children and all people to offer sacrifices for sinners and to convince them she showed to the children a vision of Hell where sinful souls go.

Lucia: "We saw an ocean of fire and submerged in that fire were demons and souls in human shapes who resembles red hot embers that floated about in the blaze falling on all sides as sparks shower during great blazes amid shrieks and groans of sorrow and despair that horrified us and made us shudder with great fear. The devils stood out like frightful and unknown animals of horrible and disgusting shapes like black coals turned red hot."

The Blessed Virgin called on everyone to pray diligently for the conversion of sinners and to convince all of the authenticity of her will, during her sixth and last apparition on October 13, 1917 in the presence of a huge crowd she preformed a miracle that has become known as the dance of the sun. On October 13th during the last conversation between the Blessed Virgin and the children it was raining but at the moment when the Blessed Virgin began ascending, gradually disappearing into the sky into the sky, Lucia shouted "Look into the sky." The clouds opened up revealing the sun as a silver disk. The people instantly became dry. And the rains stopped. The Sun was spinning in the sky... sparking with tremendous energy.

Suddenly it began to dance. It spun rapidly like a gigantic circle of fire emanating rays of light everywhere...the sky ... the ground... huge crowds of people...all of them were alternating all the colors of the rainbow... red, green. yellow and blue...the people were kneeing down and praying and beating themselves of the chest...repenting their sins... thinking that their last hours had come. These Phenomena lasted ten minutes. and then the sun came back to its place. At that time this miracle was talked about all over Portugal. And newspapers covered it widely. And everybody was shocked. At a certain moment it seemed that the Sun was about to fall on us.

The miracle witnessed by thousands of people served only to convince the people of Fatima's authenticity.

So we come to a decision ... Do we talk to our children about hell or not?

That's up to you. I talk about hell frequently and I talk about Satan when I talk about temptation. I mentioned the Tarot Cards with you because I believe that is one way Satan works in this generation. If you want to read how such spiritually corrupts (Note: Astrology and Spiritualism were damned in the Old Testament) read in 1 Samuel Chapter 28 and Isaiah Chapter 47.

It is important that you share with your children a Value System and that Value System I believe should not just be, "You are doing it because I said you are doing it." Because your children are going to grow up and you are going to loose control and they are going to go on to college and go on to whatever they want to do. But if your Value System is, "I want you to it because Our Heavenly Father ... the Creator of Life... has asked us to live by these rules..... and I want you to go to Heaven. If I go to Heaven and you are not going to join me there, it will break my heart."

When the girls and I talk about Chastity, we talk about a party that we are going to have in Heaven. And we set a date and it is in September 9th and the year is 2,120 and it is going to be at Kathy's Place. And then we joke.."If you are not there ... then we are going to know that you went to the other place and we are going to talk about you about." I try to visualize the future of life and of judgment ... and that there is a life beyond this life.... and that we want our children to be with us. These are the concepts ... our children should hear from us. They should not just hear the priests...the sisters...or other religious explaining these chastity concepts to them... remember I said that CHASTITY IS A LIFESTYLE.

For your homework... please make a poster on CHASTITY... and please make it with your child. The homework is parent and child...and we are going to give out blue ribbons for the best posters... and you are all going to go home with the a winning blue ribbon. I promise, but don't tell your children ... let it be a surprise. Let it be fun! Why can't we offer fun and humor to our children as we try to teach our children chastity? God gave us a sense of humor. Let's use it for good to teach our children chastity.

Remember the theme that Chastity is a Lifestyle... we here tonight want to develop a program for parents who don't want their children to come home pregnant and not married... or come home with AIDS...even if they survive all that..parents don't want their children to come home with a broken heart...if it can be avoided. We don't want our children coming home lying to us, "Mom and Day I'm not having sex," but all the time knowing that they are living a lie. And you know what happens with a lie ... you tell one and then you have to tell another ... and an another to cover up the last one you told.

The next week we will have half the class together ... and then the last half of the class with your sons and daughters.

QUESTION AND ANSWER PERIOD-----

Q: You talk to High School students ... how are you received when you speak to them?

A: You know what happened the last time I gave a presentation...to 350 high school boys ... 12 of them ... the prolife committee members came out and asked if they could attend one of my Chastity Workshops. Realizing it was only 12 out of 350 boys. The girls are much more receptive. A lot of times boys think Chastity means Birth Control. We have to have as much emphasis on the boys side as on the girls side.

Next week we will do some role playing. Don't think that just because your kids might roll their eyes...they are not listening. Remember the second video ... "We learned it from our parents." They will be listening to you. I don't have all the answers. We are all pioneers. I believe God led us to this workshop...together. Don't be afraid. Remember the Cowardly Lion... we are going to have Courage...and we will learn from each other....and the Holy Spirit will guide and inspire us.

Coming Soon

Part Two of Our Parents Chastity Workshop

Which Includes The Teens!!!