Letters About Chastity, Abstinence & Dating
Written by Some of the Young Mothers Who Live at the Several Sources Shelters and Who Attend Our Chastity Workshops
We hope Chastitycall will help to provide our viewers with helpful information to aid them in the day to day struggles and temptations we all face and help teach particularly young people the true value of living a chaste life.
We hope and pray you will benefit from our website which is dedicated to Our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ, and His Virgin Mother Mary and her Chaste Husband, Joseph. May the Holy Family help, inspire and protect our efforts to teach the virtue of Chastity."
Kathy DiFiore, Founder
To Whom It May Concern,
I feel Kathy DiFiore had an incredible idea sent to her from God to start Chastity Workshops in our shelter. In these workshops, I was given enough self-esteem to say no to sex. You might be thinking, "Ya right!" But you really must be there to understand.
Since you do not have the fortunate experience of attending our meetings, I'll try my hardest to explain the discussions we share.
Several Sources environment is totally comfortable. Where everyone can speak freely on a subject. Kathy normally finds some of the most interesting topics to bring up at our Chastity Meetings. Everything we find is related to God.
Chastity is a decision you make after you technically lost your viginity. Kathy and the Bible taught us that you can be forgiven for anything you do as long as you repent. So never forget you are given a second chance at anything. Remember chastity is the best thing for your mind and body and your soul.
I have been involved with a man for three years. In the beginning this man and I had a "sexual" thing not ever a relationship. He was just interested in satisfying his physical desires of the flesh. As a result, my needs were not met and feelings of uncertainty entered my heart. My family and friends never explained the virtue of chastity. Not only did I get pregnant because of a few minutes of pleasure -- my brother also contracted the HIV virus for the same reason. Today, I'm still involved with the same man, but we are in a loving relationship.
Now, through my example of being a chaste woman -- he respects me for my virtue and lives by my example. This man fulfills all my dreams because its the little things he does to show me he loves me. Such as: holding my hand, giving me a kiss to show he understand my pain, a smile to brighten my day, a simple look that tells me he's thinking of me-- these things make me feel like a real lady and not just a piece of meat. when he says he loves me he truly means it.
Each Friday I come home and we discuss what went on in the workshop. He laughs about it but he understands this is forever and we don't want to suffer the tortures of hell -- when we can experience the pleasures of Heaven....TOGETHER.
So ... we are going to wait until marriage -- plus good things come to those who wait. I want to invite you to our party in Heaven on August 8, 2200.
Hopefully you will be there....I will!!!
Love Always, Me (age 18)
To whom it may concern,
Hello! I am writing this letter in hopes who ever reads it will remain chased. I am a mother of two who is single and 22 years old. Birth control, I can tell you right now, does not always work.
Your first experience should be with the man you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. Your body is to special and no two are the same.
Waiting will give you that special bond with your husband that no one else will ever have. Men will respect you more if you do wait As for me, my first is the father of my children, and we are getting married.
We waited over a year before making love. I was 19 and 3 months later, I got pregnant with the first. I love my kids to death but wish I could have waited at least 5 to 7 years later and we were married. Life is short and there are millions of things to do. Some of those I can never do now that I am responsible for 2 kids who depend on me with their lives, literally. As for a social life? Ya, right!!! Imagine that especially if your family is not around.
Friends don't understand what it's like to have a child. Going somewhere spur of the moment is almost, impossible. Packing bottles, snacks, diapers, dressing, you and someone else, blankets, etc. Friends don't like to wait.
It is also frustrating sitting at home while everyone else is out. You grow up more than you can imagine.
Young or old sex can be dangerous. AIDS, VD, sleeping with someone else's man!?! Personally one night is not worth your life as your once knew it.
Freedom is no longer in your vocabulary and if you decide you would abort a baby!?! Then live with the fact you killed a person just as you are. A person you may never be able to have again who could of been a doctor.
Wait till you are married and have a support person to share you and your life with. Being married you keep that one freedom, being with each other and accepted more by people. Please think hard before you do it. If you already have waited ... what's a few more days, months or even years .. for just one night that you and your husband will cherish forever?
Sincerely from a mother who should have waited.
PS. The scribbling on the first page was from my 2 year old son. I can hardly get 5 minutes to myself. Kids have to be watched at all times. Bedtime for you is 9 to 10 p.m. now.
I hope when you read this you are doing as well as myself. My situation is a bit different. I was going to marry the father of my son. I was engaged and I felt that nothing could separate us but this last time we became intimate, I decided that I wasn't being respected as a woman ... a human being ... one of God's Creations. We were together for about 5 1/2 years and marriage was a definite plan but once I found out I was pregnant I wanted to be respected even more for my baby because my mother always said, "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?" and I felt that being chaste is one of the best things I decided to do.
It brought problems to my relationship but if he loved me or our child, then it would not be a problem, right!!! But guess what -- it was ... and I remained chaste from the moment of conception of this child till this date and I will tell you if you don't want to do it for anyone including yourself, think about your child's values later in life. See his father was very promiscuous and I wasn't and that brought allot of problems to the relationship and now I meet allot of people who tell me, "God, don't you miss it?" I tell them I missed my peace of mind and my sanity and with so many sicknesses out there, I know that I'm clean.
I have a friend who believes that sex before marriage is wrong and at the time of my relationship, I thought he was missing out when in fact I was the one missing out! Because now that I look back my relationship wasn't a partnership unless there was sex involved and that is not the way to have stability! I have remained chaste for over a year and I will tell you men look at you different some. Some don't believe it but if you ever get courious, come to a Chastity Workshop and we will give you or I'll send you one of our red reflectors with the prayer written on it -- "Dear Lord, Please help me to know when to stop. Help me to lead a chaste life. Amen"
Valerie, age 22
I haven't been in the Chastity Workshops for long but at the three meetings I have been to I learned that premarital sex is wrong ... no matter ...how much you may say, "Oh there's nothing wrong with having sex outside of marriage."
But when you think about it...it is.
A year ago I moved back to Brooklyn because my Grandma wouldn't give me the freedom I wanted. So when I got there and saw how good the guys looked, I completely forgot my morals and had sex...sex... and more sex. After a while I started to feel cheap. So I stopped all the partying and one nightstands and settled down with one man. He was good to me but I felt like I was his little play toy and even worse... too many girls wanted him. So I thought he was cheating on me... so I decided to cheat on him... and he found out and we got into a big fight. Then 2 days later we got back together. Since then things have been ok for us but I still don't feel like he really loves me.
Now that I'm pregnant, we are still together so far. Even though things see to turn out OK..its still not right because every night when I go to bed... I think... "If we were married...right now it would be like two happily married people eagerly waiting for the birth of our first child...to start a real family."
In reality its not life that , I am constantly worrying about how long he is going to stay with me. God did not intend it to be that way. He wanted us to have a family. So...if you're thinking about having sex...out of marriage....
Stop! Don't Do it!!!
Take it from me...it's worth the wait.
Tamara (age 17)
Hi! My name is Joan and I am 17 years old. About one year ago, I met a guy named Jack. Back then I thought I loved him,and that he loved me, but I now realize I was too young to be in love with someone. Anyway, back to my story, I was put on birth control and because I forgot one little pill which I doubled up on the next day, I am now sitting here writing this letter to you with a 3 week old child in my arms. My whole life has changed so fast in a way I could never describe and no one could ever understand. Because of the risk of pregnancy, AIDS and STD's I am planning to stay chaste for a long time.
A man will say all these sweet things like, they say they love you and they will not leave you until you are pregnant and a man does not want to talk to you...or see you and your life is over.
You can't go to parties and hang out with your friends.
Now about Chastity. You can do so much with a man and not have to be in bed or have sex life ... read the bible... pray...teach him about God.... or chastity... or take walks...or hold hands.
So you better think twice before you get in bed. If a man really loves you...he will wait. Hope to see you in Heaven at our party up there for all of us who try to be chaste.
I made a commitment to lead a chaste life. Besides following the written word of Christ, I also wanted a chaste lifestyle to thank God and the Blessed Mother for all the goodness that was part of my life.
However, that doesn't mean that everyone lives a chaste life. I do and I am not alone. Unfortunately not everyone will accept this life. Here is my story.
I met a man through a friend. His name was Brian. He seemed very nice. I am 30 and he is 33. His first conversation with me revolved around profile.
Many people we knew encourages our relationship. These people knew both of us because of my work and my experience with an unexpected pregnancy, that I was not sexually active. Brian had a dark side, which he openly admitted to me.
He didn't have any family values towards marriage and children. He felt that sexuality was a gift to be used at nay impulse. But perhaps what was saddest was his disbelief in God, in any religion or prayer.
Because of the background, Brian did not believe in chastity.
I always felt that I would be very strong when it came to maintaining my new chaste life. This was because I had never been faced with temptation. The temptation was very strong. And Satan used Brian's smooth voice and skills of persuasion to try to distract me. Brian told me I wasn't "living in reality". "This is the ministry." He pleaded, "You and I aren't teenagers.
We are adults who can be responsible i.e... birth control."
My daughter was conceived on Birth Control, so I know first hand ... birth control...is not 100%. I also have seen young people die of AIDS through sexual transmission. And I have so much to live for....
I also don't want to jeopardize my soul, my chance for a place in God's Kingdom for physical pleasure ... so momentary. I believe my parents are in Heaven and that's where I want to spend eternity. I also know that my parents are with me in my heart, so I have to struggle and pray...pray...pray for impure thoughts and feelings to leave my heart and mind.
What is living in reality is knowing what premarital sex can accomplish -- hurt, loneliness, and unexpected pregnancy, guilt. I couldn't imagine myself having to relive another pregnancy alone, the hurt the anguish of my family and friends. And how I would hurt Jesus...its not worth it. But I am worth it.. worth waiting for... that is. I know that Chastity is the way of the Lord. And if I follow that lifestyle and encourage it with my friends and with other women, I know Our Lord will bless me with a wonderful chaste man who will truly love me not what I can do with my physical self and love my daughter.
You are a very beautiful person...a reflection of God's love. God's love brings me such peace that I know my life is His life. Don't destroy the most beautiful relationship you can ever have by giving in to a momentary impulse.
Wait for the man who reminds you of ultimate love ... God's love. He is worth waiting for.
Love and prayers,
My name is Melany. I am 18 years old. Less than one year ago I was a party animal. I insisted on being with my boyfriend both day and night. Because he told me he 'loved" me. Today, I have a one week old daughter and the man that insisted he "loved" me is now no longer in the picture.
When I told him I was pregnant, he chose to walk out on me and go out with a 14 year old girl. Don't get me wrong. I love my daughter with all my heart and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. But, from all that has happened I learned a valuable lesson.. this lesson is how to live a chaste life. the bible tells us that premarital sex is wrong. But not only wrong ...it is a sin. A great offense to God. In a lifetime there will be many people you may feel that you can turn to for help. Later you may find that they won't always be there for you as you expected.
The one person that will never forsake you is Jesus. there is nothing wrong about living a chaste life. As a matter of fact it is only right. Now a days, sleeping around can not only get you pregnant, but worse. It can get you AIDS. God created man in his own image. Our bodies are temples of God and by having premarital sex we are defacing God's temple.
Satan will use people in any way he can to get people to turn away from Jesus. Having premarital believe it or not is one of Satan's most successful ways to get you away from Jesus. It doesn't matter what other people think of you.
If people don't want to hang around with you because you are living a chaste life, then it is no big loss because you are using wisdom and faith in hopes of one day seeing the Lord's holy kingdom. No matter what people say as long as you have faith, "as tiny as a mustard seed" you are doing right in God's eyes.
There are many reasons you can give people for you being chaste. Some of them are the Bible says premarital sex is a sin, you don't' want to catch any STD's, you don't want to deface God's holy temple, and you want to have something special with your husband when you get married. An old wives tale tells us that people learn from their own mistakes. I ask that you don't wait that long and you learn from mine. Please use me as an example in learning to live a chaste life. Just hold on until you get married and until then keep the faith.
Yours in Christ's Love,
PS. Don't forget about God's great reward.
Attending Chastity meetings at Several Sources has helped me personally to become a stronger person both mentally and spiritually. I have learned so many things about God and myself. Chastity meetings have also helped me to analyze my choice of becoming chaste.
In my opinion the word Chastity means pure while being one with God.
I know that is not exactly the dictionary definition but in relating being chaste with God helps me to remember why it is so important to say chaste.
The situation with my boyfriend because we are so young is somewhat difficult. On many occasions I have sat down with him and explained to him why I have decided to become chaste. The first few times he laughed at my decision. But as I continue to stress the importance of controlling our lusts and desires towards each other. He then realized that the both of us being chaste would not only be the wisest decision, but in the world today the most safest. My boyfriend and I both feel that being chaste will erase our past problems and will help us to focus on more important things such as God, finishing school and taking care of our son.
I hope and pray by the Grace of God and my own will power I will continue to be chaste until the day I marry.